From: Jesus Nice Is Unwell <thump.tubs@btinternet.com>
To: The Chuckle Brothers <samluke2282@netscapeonline.co.uk>; Sarah Knight <knighty01@hotmail.com>; Ross <ross@hegy.freeserve.co.uk>; Rea <rearobey@hotmail.com>; Phil <philv@shortsfield.freeserve.co.uk>; Pete <madpig69@hotmail.com>; Neil <neil@writtenword.freeserve.co.uk>; Minnie <ugly_gentlemen@crazedanddazed.com>; Mike <crikeymiles@hotmail.com>; Martin <mbryan17@hotmail.com>; Mark <markone15@hotmail.com>; L.I.P <anna_alexander@email.com>; John <johnthefreak@hotmail.com>; Jane <okay_anastasia@hotmail.com>; Graeme <Graemejohnson@hotmail.com>; gareth <subdued@netcomuk.co.uk>; fiona <fionawylie@hotmail.com>; Claire <cmarie@netcomuk.co.uk>; Auzy <milenko@auzy.freeserve.co.uk>
Subject: A plea on behalf Alex Joyce.
Date: 18 September 2000 11:29

*Ladies and gentlemen this is a plea on behalf of Alex Joyce.*

Alex Joyce is a young man whose life is a nightmare, he was recently diagnosed as being "The Biggest Thing Since Sliced Bread" and now spends his life in a virtual prison of terror mobbed everyday by his adoring fans making his life a misery. The fans are so debased they are often found rifling through his underpants in a vain efforts to absorb young Alex's essence.

So, I hear you cry, how can you help such a tragic figure? Well, there is good news. We at the Alex Joyce Appreciation Society (AJAS) and the pan-galactic band The Peach Stones have united to produce a special Joyce Aid album named "Unleash The Mechanical Vampire Penguins" featuring a range of different artist including Alex himself.

Now, again I hear you cry, how can we purchase this twenty seven track album that could help such a pillar of our community? Well, do not fear. thanks to a generous offer from The National Surrey And Sussex Institute For The Genitally Impaired, the album is utterly free, yes thats right, completely free. They have generously pledged to give one shiny rupee for every album given away. Yes, thats right one shiny rupee. But wait there is more, yes order though me (your local AJAS agent) and the album will contain one extra completely free live bonus track from The Peach Stones World Wide Reigate Tour featuring the renowned Greg "Peach" Stone.

So everyone, I beg of you: Give A Joyce A Chance.

Thank you for your time.
Christian

DETAILS:

So you want to get "Unleash The Mechanical Penguins?"

Well, unfortunately due to technical difficulties and the collapse of the Soviet Union, the album is only available in tape format.

Now if you think that you will meet either myself (Christian Browning) or Mike Hutchinson in the next week and a half then just email me and I will knock up a copy for you for next time we meet.

If however, you do not believe that you shall see me or Mike, then email me and I will send you further details. If you wish the album to be delivered by post then you will be expected to pay a measly 70p for postage and packing. But for more concise details in this area just email me at thump.tubs@btinternet.com

*****EXCLUSIVE*****
IF YOU APPLY FOR YOUR COPY OF "UNLEASH THE MECHANICAL VAMPIRE PENGUINS" QUICKLY MAY WELL BE LUCKY ENOUGH TO ALSO RECEIVE AN OFFICIAL A3 RELEASE POSTER FOR THE ALBUM.

For more information on either The Peach Stones or the AJAS organisation, either phone 0891 50 50 50 or stick your head up you bum and whistle for it.